Archive for the ‘Stuff’ Category

On prize trolls

Monday, October 2nd, 2006

So, here I am, at the Los Angeles County Fair, working the 97.1 Free FM tent. I get roped into these events occasionally, when someone else isn’t able to cover their shift. It’s an easy gig — we sit here, we talk to people about the station, we smile and laugh at their jokes, then we give them some freebies.

Today I had, by far, the strangest conversation I’ve had with a listener yet.

He approaches the booth. He’s a portly, balding man, about five foot and a half. He seems cheerful enough in his demeanor — enough so that you’d smile and say hi. I do so. He looks around the booth, and then over the side wall, down into our coveted “prize bin.” He spies a large pile of empty 97.1 Free FM bags.

“What’s in the bags,” he casually ponders. I smile, yet again.

“They’re just bags.” The man squints at me, accusingly. He sneers a little bit.

“Just bags? They’re empty?” Incredulous. That’s weird.

“That’s right, sir. They’re prize bags.” Satisfied with my explanation, I smile again — that’s three smiles so far. He’s definitely in the hole on politeness. I expect a firm handshake when he leaves.

“Why would you have empty bags?” He sneers again, and accuses again. This is becoming a trend. And we’re trending in the opposite direction I’d want us to. I start looking around the booth, nervously.

“To put prizes in, when we give them out. Or to give people that might need to carry stuff. Do you have any stuff to carry?” See, I’m being helpful. Combine that with the unrequited politeness, and this guy is going to actually owe me money.

“No.” He peers further over the wall. I’m not sure what’s he hoping to see back here. Maybe I’ve got the ultra super prize tucked up under the side wall, and the only way to win it is to see it. Maybe it’s a little dude, and you have to guess his name, and then he gives you his backpack. I don’t know. I start to wish I had that little prize troll back here; maybe it would get this guy to leave me alone.

He’s beginning to get impatient at this point. And I’m getting desperate. Obviously, he’s not buying my clever ploy to keep all the prizes. I feel around in random bags next to my chair. Finally, thankfully, I find a pair of sunglasses. I yank them out of the bag, and thrust them towards the sky. “Sunglasses. Free FM sunglasses.” Ugh. Now I have to do it. I don’t want to do it. Dear. God. No. Okay, fine. I smile. The man eyes the glasses suspiciously.

“I don’t want those.” Wait for it. Yes, there it is. He sneers. Fantastic. And just like that, he turns and walks away, leaving me holding the glasses.

Stupid glasses.

Distracted?

Friday, September 29th, 2006

“It’s so damn cold out,” he moaned to nobody as he climbed out of his car. It was much colder than it should be. Especially for this time of year. What was it, July? August? He was pretty sure it was August. In the busy season, he could never really keep track of the month. He had a hard enough time just figuring out where he was supposed to be next.

With swift, deliberate motions, he moved to the back of the car. The trunk was already open; he must’ve already unlatched it. The routine was getting too familiar. Pull car up to curb. Reach down, pop trunk. Turn off car. Grab keys and get out. Blah, blah, blah. It was boring enough doing it, without having to think about it, too.

He looked up. He was already standing in front of the apartment building. It was a cold, gray granite, made sickly green by the erratic flicker of a nearby light. His gloved fist clenched tightly around the handle of the briefcase.

“The winds of change blow tepid through your life,” he recited, in a sort of monotone. It was his fortune. Splotchy red ink tossed onto some thin, cheap paper, and stuffed inside of a stale cookie. When he first saw it earlier that day, he’d just assumed that its’ author had a loose grip on the English language. Now, he was having his doubts. He made a mental note to look up the word tepid when he got back home.

Inside the cold, gray granite building was a cold, gray granite world. A world without primer, apparently. “This is depressing.” He stared at an apartment door. It was old, and wooden. Inexplicably, it’d been painted gray to match the walls. “Anybody who lives here must pray for death.” In his head, he corrected himself; more likely, they think they are already dead. He thrust his hand into his pocket, and pulled out a small slip of paper. Apartment four. This was it. He closed his eyes and sighed.

The inside of the apartment was exactly as he imagined it would be. Slightly underfurnished. Bare walls. Putrid smell. Dishes in the sink. This is how people live, he thought to himself. He placed his briefcase gently down on a small table near the door. Click. Click. It seemed to unlatch itself. His routine was kicking in again.

Two bedrooms. Opposite each other in the hallway. Which one? The left one. He crept up to it, turned the knob slowly, and pushed through. Squinting through the darkness, he could make out the vague outline of a bunk bed. Kid’s room. “How tepid,” he thought to himself. He cringed, and realized he still didn’t know what tepid meant.

This time, he went into the master bedroom. Ridiculously underfurnished, he thought. Just a big queen bed, a night stand with a glass of water on it, and some pictures taped on the wall. In the bed, he could faintly see an outline of a large, portly man. Here we go. A slight gust of wind swept through an open window and into the room. He chuckled quietly. It was not a wind of change, although for all he knew, it could have been tepid. What the hell did that word mean? That knowledge was in his mind somewhere. He had a four year degree. He’d always gotten great grades in English. Tepid. Tepid. Tepid. It was losing what little meaning it had. Suddenly, the man in the bed coughed and rolled over. He raised his hand swiftly, and fired two rounds from the pistol he was holding directly into the man’s forehead. In his last throes, the man in the bed flailed his arm out wildly to one side, spilling the glass of water.

He looked over at the spilled water and cocked his head. Wait! That was it! Tepid! Like tepid water! Tepid means warm! The fortune made no sense. “Great,” he thought to himself. He’d spent the whole night obsessed with something that was just poorly translated.

He looked at his watch, and let out a sigh. Running late. He had to get back out there — back out into that hellish cold. He trudged back into the hallway. It was going to be a shitty day.

On the awesomeness

Wednesday, September 27th, 2006

This Sunday, the first of October, without further stalling for time, The Awesome Show will return to the Internet! So if you’ve got any questions or comments that you’d asked us to address, but we didn’t back in the day, or you just want to send something in… you know what to do. awesomeshow@gmail.com, baby.

On neglecting the ol’ blog

Tuesday, September 26th, 2006

I’ve been ignoring my precious blog for a while now, so it’s time to give it a little love. Well, it may not be time just yet, but at least some time today.

Yes, definitely some time today.

My Wheels

Saturday, August 26th, 2006

I got my car back; it was sitting on an impound in Hollywood.

Weehaw.

Post-Production: Thanks, Everybody

Saturday, August 26th, 2006

Now that Whip Cracker is in post-production, I’d like to take a moment and say thanks to everybody who was part of our amazing principal photography team, as well as the behind-the-scenes people who brought us all together and made everything possible.

A huge thanks, of course, to Brooks, for both giving me this opportunity, and for never getting discouraged. Without him, I would’ve been sitting in my apartment in Los Angeles, plodding away at screenplays I’d never produce.

Next, of course, is Tammy, without whom none of this would’ve happened. She’s far more worthy of a Producer credit than most producers ever are. She kept us fed, she secured our locations, she got us extras, she organized things that I would never have even known existed, and she only yelled when she had to. All while pregnant!

Catrina was awesome. Between script supervision, assistant directing, costuming, and a multitude of other jobs I’m not aware of, she still managed to keep her cool and stick it out through pre-production and photography. I’m sure she’s involved with post, as well. It would be a privilege to work with her again. Her husband, Robert, was great to us as well — he was and continues to be known by many on this crew as one of the nicest men you’ll ever meet in your life.

Where would we be without our stars, Jerry and Kenneth? They were fantastic. They were not actors, no, and that much was obvious at times. But they stuck it out, and they endured things that “real” actors wouldn’t tolerate. Extra, extra special thanks to Jerry, for putting up with wearing that armor. Good lord. I didn’t even like carrying it around.

I can’t talk about Jerry and Kenneth without mentioning Darcy, our “straight man” who kept the film anchored in a semblence of reality. Her struggle was to play a somewhat normal character in a sea of anarchy, and she pulled it off very well. Not only that, but she was a total delight to have on set, and she definitely kept us entertained off set, as well. I truly miss her.

Our supporting cast was fabulous. Cameron got into the character of Smitty so much that he started to see clearly through his prop glasses. Doug could seriously have a future in comedy. Daniel’s improv was always top notch. And Justin brought a level of professionalism to the set that far outweighed that of the crew. On top of that, his portrayal of Galahad far, FAR exceeded anything I could’ve ever imagined. Without these supporting actors, we would have no movie.

All of this talent would be wasted without a production staff that was up to the challenge, and we had that. Joaquin, our Key Grip, went above and beyond what would be expected of any volunteer, and some would say, beyond what would be expected of someone who was being paid.

Ben was a crack lighting ninja, and he had no problem telling people what they needed to hear (sometimes, to his detriment.)

Brett stepped up to the mammoth task of being our “Ninja Sound Guy” and managed to withstand many verbal beatings from both myself and the rest of the crew without any permanent emotional damage.

Andy, in addition to being “the other sound guy”, could probably build a time machine out of a toaster — and he’d be able to tell you how many seconds it would take him.

Bug went from having never been on a film set, to being my 1st Assistant Camera, in a couple of days. If he had been on the crew for the entire shoot, we would’ve stayed on schedule much more than we did.

Chris, our junior grip, managed to hold every job on set at some point, I think. I couldn’t help but laugh that night at the goofy golf, when he picked up the slate and nervously asked us to roll cameras.

I didn’t find out until later than Luis and Ahmet, our production assistants, were aspiring filmmakers in their own right. They managed to make the trek up from Ciudad Juarez, Mexico every day to be on set, and they were willing to do almost anything once they got there. They’re working on a short film right now; I look forward to watching it.

To anybody I’ve left off of this list, you did a great job as well, because nobody on our set really did a bad job (except maybe me!) An extra special thanks to Virginia, for stepping into the role of Horchata at the last second, plowing through her lines as best she could, and for serenading us on set. That made a hot, aggravating day go by that much smoother.

I hope to see everybody at the premiere, later this year.

Thanks, everybody!

Gone

Thursday, August 24th, 2006

Welp, my car got stolen.

Scye Fye

Wednesday, August 23rd, 2006

I’m going on a little bit of a sci-fi kick now that I’ve wrapped on Whip Cracker. During pre-production for that, of course, I was watching nothing but comedies, or nothing at all depending on how busy I was. But now, it’s time. It’s time to get back to my roots.

Battlestar Galactica.

I’ve talked about the Battlestar Galactica mini-series before, but that was back in January, when I got it sent over from Blockbuster Online. That was it for me at the time, though. A short while after I got to Los Angeles, a friend of my roommate came into town, and he had all of the Battlestar Galactica series DVDs with him.

So we watched. And loved.

Unfortunately, they still haven’t released the rest of season 2 on DVD. They did this insane “let’s release part of the second season, in a desperate attempt to grab as much cash as we can, then keep airing it on TV.” I don’t have cable, damnit. I can’t watch new episodes on TV. I need them on DVD. GRAH!

I can buy them on iTunes, but they’re $2 a piece. And you have to watch them on the computer, or on an iPod. If I could afford an iPod, I’d have cable, damnit.

Not really sure where I’m going with this. I’m going to watch the series over again tonight and tomorrow, and when I get to where it leaves off, I’m probably going to start buying them on iTunes one by one. Ugh. ‘Spensive. But I gotsta watch. I needs my Starbuck and my Apollo. And even my creepy doctor. But not the President. Crazy bitch.

Production: Wrap

Sunday, August 20th, 2006

Phew, we wrapped today at quarter till five in the afternoon. The last day went much more smooth than the previous few, finishing on schedule. The wrap party was great too, because we brought along the computer and showed off some of the dailies.

It’s insane that we shot the entire thing in under a month. Of course, it involved a lot of 16-20 hour days. Yesterday was particularly grueling — starting at 7am and not wrapping until 4am the following morning. That’s what it took, though, so that’s what we did. It was worth it, too.

Onward to post-production! This is the part where I sit back and watch the real magic happen. Woohoo!

Back in Los Angeles tomorrow morning. It’s going to suck working a real job again.

Production: Day Ugh

Friday, August 18th, 2006

The schedule has been way too hectic for me to get on the computer and blog, so I’ll be doing plenty of it when I get back.

The dailies are looking great, everything is on schedule, everybody on set LOVES the movie, and we’re three days from wrapping.

Onward, and upward!