EL PASO, TX — A local girl has returned home from the hospital after escaping relatively unscathed from the burning wreckage of her parents 1989 Chrysler LeBaron. The girl had disappeared from her El Paso home late last Wednesday, and was later discovered to have stolen her family’s car, in an apparent attempt to jump it over a crudely made dirt ramp. The incident has left local authorities scrambling to determine what could’ve influenced the girl to try such a dangerous stunt.
The girl, 12-year-old Michelle Perens, was first reported missing last Wednesday by her mother, local florist LeAnne Perens. “I went to her room to check on her, to give her some ice cream [before bed.] She wasn’t in there. She was nowhere in the house. I panicked and called 911. I still don’t know how she managed to get the car out of the garage.”
After an exhaustive sixteen hour search of the surrounding neighborhoods, authorities finally turned up the missing car, slightly worse for the wear. Joshua Mitchell was an eyewitness to the events that unfolded. “So, like, this girl pulls up in her LeBaron, and she looks totally hot, but I’m like, dude, control yourself, she looks like she’s about fifteen. I went up and was like ‘Whoa girl, should you be driving out here?’ And she’s all, ‘Look bitch. You better make me a ramp right now. Cause I’m gonna get this bitch airborne.’ And when a little girl tells you that, you better fucking listen. God knows what she would’ve done if [I] hadn’t.”
While disappointed with the destruction of their car, Michelle’s parents were elated to see their daughter return home safely. “We’re just glad we paid our insurance premium this month,” said John Perens, a local attorney. “Of course, we’re very happy that our daughter is safe, but now that she’s back home with us, we need to come at this from a financial perspective.”
Influenced by the Internet?
Following the incident, detectives at the El Paso Sheriff’s Department began searching for a reason why Michelle might’ve undertaken such behavior. Their search led them to her computer’s Internet browser history.
“Michelle had been visiting a lot of these ‘extreme stunt’ video websites on her computer,” notes Detective Carlos Gutierrez. “One in particular, though, has a video that is almost an exact match for what Michelle was trying to do.”
The site in question is Boredom-Induced.com, a website started several years ago by a group of twenty-somethings in the city of West Palm Beach, FL. The site, which prominently displays a warning indicating that all viewers should be 18 years of age or older, features many videos of the group’s members engaging in what they term “hardcore stunts.”
Upon learning of the site, Michelle’s parents were not amused.
“There’s this site, just on the Internet, where anybody can get to it, and they are just encouraging anybody to go out and get in their cars and just tear [them] up. For fun. These kids are lucky they haven’t died. And I’m lucky my daughter didn’t get seriously hurt imitating them.”
Passing the buck
The founder and operator of Boredom-Induced.com, 23-year-old Florida native Andrew Evans, feels that it is not his responsibility what people do after watching his videos.
“We take all the necessary safety precautions when we do these things. There’s an eighteen-plus [notice] on the front [page]. I don’t know what more I can do.”
Other members of his group seem to feel the same way, albeit in a much less articulated fashion. “liek [sic.] wutever [sic.] i dont care if sum [sic.] dum [sic.] kidz [sic.] r [sic.] dying,” says Chase Millar, long-time friend of Andrew Evans and one of the principal members of Boredom-Induced.com.
Legislation necessary?
While sites such as Boredom-Induced.com may have many fans, they also have a vocal opposition. Sherrie Chatterton is a mother of two, and is the head of Mothers Against Hardcore Stunts, or MAHS.
“We strongly oppose sites such as the one operated by Mr. Evans. The narrowly averted tragedy in El Paso is just further evidence that Capitol Hill needs to immediately consider a law restricting, or even banning, the distribution of these kinds of entertainment on the Internet.”
While not every opponent of this form of entertainment agrees with Ms. Chatteron, they are all in agreement that someone should be held accountable. Jonathon Terry, an El Paso resident, feels the blame lies with the parents.
“The problem with Michelle Perens is not a website. The problem with Michelle Perens, is Mr. and Mrs. Perens, and their absentee parenting. I applaud Mr. Evans and his friends for exercising their Constitutionally protected right to free speech.”
Whether the blame lies with the parents, with people such as Mr. Evans, or with the Federal Government, is still up in the air. At this point, only one thing is for certain: Mr. and Mrs. Perens will be sure to lock up the keys to their new car.
“We’re definitely not going to leave them out on the counter anymore.”
Good advice.
Tags: Miscellaneous
Is this a joke????
Holy shit, this is horrible!!!
Just what WE NEED!