I feel fat.
This morning, I woke up to a back ache, as I do every morning. I sleep on an air mattress that I managed to pop as soon as I got it home. Sure, I inflate it every night, but by the morning, I’m laying on the floor.
As you can imagine, when I wake up like that, I want something to cheer me up. This morning was no different.
I hobbled over to the computer and checked my email. Nothing.
Then, of course, I was hit with a flash of insight.
Cookies and popsicles.
A reasonable breakfast, I thought, and it’ll definitely cheer me up. I creaked out of my chair, walked over to my door, and out into the living room I went. Upon arriving in the kitchen, I made a discovery: there was a huge jar of protein powder on the top of the fridge.
Apparently, my roommate made himself some protein pancakes this morning.
Ignoring this, I picked some garbage up off of the floor, and opened the trashcan to put it in. I was met with yet another startling revelation.
Broken eggs.
This man had eggs and pancakes. And I’m out here trying to scrounge up cookies and popsicles.
I trundled back to my room empty handed.
Tags: Harrowing Tales