Marculations

I had a bad postal services day.

It all started a few months ago. A friend and I promised another friend that we’d mail him a microphone for his camera, one that we had seen for sale at Best Buy. Turns out, that microphone was no longer available. To make a long story short, we could never find a suitable replacement microphone in the same price range.

So, I decided to part with my lovely Azden SGM-2X, a microphone both near and dear to my heart.

Today, I wrapped it and its’ associated accessories up in bubble paper, placed them into a box, and took them to the local Kinkos for mailing. Understand now, this package is bound for the United Kingdom, so I am already aware that I’m going to be paying a most unholy and indeed, quite unnecessary price.

When I arrived at Kinkos, the box was open and unsealed. I made my way to a small desk island in the center of the room, with packing supplies hanging from an end cap. My eyes darted quickly over the selection, and finally settled on a small roll of 3M Clear Packing Tape. Bingo.

I took it off of the rack and began the arduous process of sealing the box. A good five minutes went by before I felt that I’d sufficiently protected my precious microphone from the ravages of shipment. I got back in the line.

Oh, what the hell. Let’s call it a queue.

After “queueing” for another five minutes, I reached the counter. The gentleman looked at my package, then up at me.

“You shipping that?”

Hmm. “Yes,” I replied.

“You need to fill out the paperwork. It’s over there on that end thing. Right there. See it?”

I did indeed see it. I meandered back to where I’d been sealing the package, and, after a moment, plucked a hefty “International Airbill” from the rack. Terrific.

A few more minutes of my life waste by as I reach the section where I must report the value and contents of the box. Souvenirs, twenty-five dollars worth. This is Florida, we do that here. Y’know. We ship souvenirs to our friends in the UK, via FedEx Priority Mail.

After filling out the form, I queued back up and waited.

Upon reaching the counter, the gentleman looked at the box, and looked at my International Airbill.

“Shipping is over at that counter.”

Argh.

I got out of my queue, and got into the other one. Finally, I reached the shipping counter. The woman stares bleakly at the airbill, then finally, has to ask the question that’s burning deeply in her loins.

“What country is this?”

“Scotland?”, I fire back, confused.

“Scotland isn’t listed here,” she retorts, as if she’s got a B.S. in Geography.

“Try the United Kingdom.”

“Oh, there it is.” I’ll assume that the stresses of the job are getting to her, and let this one slide.

A few moments pass while she clacks away at the computer. I’m rapidly losing my patience. I contemplate not paying for the tape I used to seal the box. The dispenser looms large on the kiosk several feet away.

“What’s in this box? Twenty-five dollar value?”

“Souvenirs,” I reply nervously.

“Right. Well, I need you to fill out this separate manifest.” She produces a piece of paper that seems to contain very similar information to the one I’ve already filled out. In my head, I wonder exactly why she can’t just fill this one out herself.

I take the paper and move to a different counter to begin filling it out. Before I can strike the pen to the page, she speaks again. “It’s going to be a hundred and ten dollars.”

I freeze. “What?”

“Yeah, it’s over a hundred dollars. That’s the only option it’s giving me.”

“Well, keep working on that.”

“That’s how much it costs.”

“Well, I’m trying to figure out why I would pay this much to ship it, when I could take it to the U.S. Post Office and pay twelve dollars.”

“I usually always do my overseas shipping through the post office.”

She’s gone and bamboozled me at this point. I pick up my box, and thank her for her time, curtly. I stroll past the kiosk on the way out, and think to myself, at least I stole that tape.

Tags: Harrowing Tales

This entry was posted on Sunday, November 27th, 2005 at 1:58 am and is filed under Stuff. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.