Archive for September, 2005

On not fitting into the rest of society

Friday, September 9th, 2005

I have to quit my job.

You know, it’s not a bad job. I actually love the work. I love having to acquire the knowledge myself, and apply it in new and unique ways on every other call. I love the thrill of hearing someone say, “Oh my god, you are so great, you helped me so much!” I really like helping people.

It’s the job itself I can’t stand.

I think my first twitch was the insane amount of paperwork involved in helping a single person. Log the call on this, log the call on that, log the call in the computer.

Okay, fine, whatever. I can do that.

Now you will receive a report based on these numbers. Daily. Pitting you against the rest of the department. Your name will appear on the report with your number by it, so that everybody can see. The report will be distributed daily on paper to everybody, in a monument to paper waste. Electronic copies will not be furnished.

Yes!

Timesheets are being seen having nothing but 8:00am-5:00pm all the way down each week. That can’t be accurate. Start being more accurate, down to the minute. Okay. Great.

I wrote a program to help me keep a very accurate timesheet. I sent a note around to the department about writing it, and asked if anybody wanted it (didn’t actually attach it to the email.) At my performance review, I get reprimanded for sending out my program without authorization (which I didn’t.) Oh, and I get commended for writing it.

What?

Cut to a month later: I receive a formal reprimand from the owner for being “one or two minutes late” on numerous occasions. These 8:01s and 8:03s were gleaned from information provided by me on my timesheet. The one that I went to great lengths to make accurate, in order to comply with policy. If I had not done that, and would’ve kept putting 8:00am straight down the column, it would not have happened.

Oh, and I still haven’t had any training.

I quit. For real. I’d rather dig ditches than be managed like this.

On violating the Apple human interface guidelines

Wednesday, September 7th, 2005

Apple. Tsk tsk tsk.

Your new iTunes 5 is hideous.

What happened?!

On being completely awake, I swear

Wednesday, September 7th, 2005

Ivy is a harsh mistress.

It starts off with a quick trip to Taco Bell, and pretty soon, it’s going on five a.m. and you haven’t been to bed yet. Who knew Myspace, Photobucket and MS Paint could be so entertaining for so long. Oh, and filming her use the computer. Exciting! Can’t wait to see what crazy videos I can edit together from that footage!

Ferret finger nail clipping is another crowd favorite. Put that to some hardcore music and things get interesting.

So yeah, I’m pretty much spent now. And the calls at work — Won’t. Stop. Coming.

Boss Lady: “Are you sure you want to take a phone support job? We need to be double and triple sure that you aren’t going to just burn out on us in a few months, since you’re used to being a software developer.”
Me: “I’ve done phone support before, for years. It’s no big deal, I can handle it.”
Boss Lady: “Are you sure?”
Me: “Yes, absolutely.”

Well, she made a liar out of me. Ohmigod I can’t take it.

On the Masters of the Universe

Tuesday, September 6th, 2005

Ivy: oh. i just came back from the against me show
Marc: was it hot
Ivy: yeah, i sweat like 20 lbs off
Ivy: and got punched in the face
Marc: so what,, you weigh -10 now?
Ivy: yeah pretty much
Marc: skeletons are sexy

On hanging it out there

Monday, September 5th, 2005

Selling The Faith has been submitted to a film festival.

Let’s see if it gets accepted.